I'm obese!?

Good Morning Everybody!

I know it is early for someone who doesn't have a job but I just cant seem to sleep past seven o'clock. I try to believe you me. Ok, there is something that I forgot to mention yesterday and that is I am publicly going to post my weight in this blog. I am doing this so that maybe the utter humiliation of how much I weigh being public knowledge will help me lose weight. So here we go.

This morning I was 194.8 with a body fat percentage of 26.0. I have this scale that checks this stuff. I used to think that the body fat thing was a crock but I read in Men's Health that they do work. Apparently it sends electrical impulses through the soles of your feet and based on how fast it comes back that is how much body fat you have. Sonar technology if you will. Well my fluctuations in weight have always been an issue with me. The most I ever weighed was 218. I am only 5'6" by the way. At that time I was as wide as I was tall. which reminds me of a funny story but I will get into that a little later. So bodyfat. The other day I checked it and it said 29%. Now I don't remember exactly and I could google it but I think that would be something fun for all of you to research on your own, see I want you to learn things too while reading this. Like that that was probably the worst run on sentence ever. Ok what I can't remember is the actual percentage of the human body that is water. Isn't it something like 85% or something? well you do the math there and sounds like I am 110% of a person. Which makes sense because I am fat. I did some research because I thought that 29% bodyfat was extreme. And I was right. at 25% and over you are considered obese as a man. So I've got that going for me.

You want to know what reminded me to do this post in the first place? Last night as I was watching tv and got the munchies I found myself eating a pecan log. At 10 pm and you know what "they " say, don't eat after 8. Speaking of "they" I will probably refer to they from time to time here. I do not know who they are but they seem to know it all. I tend not to agree with that they say unless ofcourse it helps me prove a point and then they are the authorities on the matter. But for now lets just agree to dislike they. They know who they are. So here I am eating the pecan log, drinking a diet coke, feet up in the recliner watching tv wondering why I am fat. I am flanked on both sides by Runner's World, Bicycling, and Triathlete magazines. Apparently my training by osmosis theory is not working but come on it's only the third week in the new year and I didn't make any "lose weight" resolutions so get off my back. And when you do could you go get me something to eat, please?

I like food. Its one of my biggest vices. Especially sweets like cakes pies pastries. Not Candy. If I could marry Mrs. Smith I would but obviously she is married hence the mrs. That is one lucky fellow. Oh can you imagine all of the cakes and pies at that house? If there is a heaven that would be it.Like a friend of mine once said, "I only like two kinds of pie. Hot and cold." Amen! I've eaten an entire deep dish apple pie in 36 hours alone. They really don't stand a chance in my house.

And its not only sweets. I watch tv commercials about food like kids watch toy commercials. Example. The other day I am watching the NFL playoffs and McDonalds shows an ad for the new Mcsnack Wrap. Basically the ingredients for a big mack in a tortilla. Well I want one. I actually text messaged a friend to say "I want one of those." Oh and I got one within two days. And let me tell you, it was delicious. I little small but delicious. Oh and let me go through the drive thru and them give away a hot apple pie with your purchase. There is a little dance that goes on when I make that discovery. And then usually the rest of my day is just bliss.

So it's out there now. I am going to keep everyone updated on my trip to get fitter. Its gonna be a rocky road. See that is a pun. I don't know if I am going to do it daily because my weight fluctuates too much day to day. Hell, the other day I gained four pounds just from the time I woke up and came back from church. The trip to IHOP didn't help but I don't think I ate four pounds of country fried steak with gravy, scrambled eggs with cheese, hash browns, and three pancakes. ok maybe I did. Damn it I can put away some food.