Ok so if you haven't noticed I have been in sort of a mood as of late. That being said I'd like to talk about something. And that something is haters. We all know haters in our lives. People who say we can't do something or something we want or like is not what we should do or like. Hating can present it self in many ways. One way is when people make smart ass comments to you about something you have or are doing. Sometimes I believe it is that they just don't know what to really say in that setting so they say some cliche thing that just comes across as assish. As I get older I realize that a lot of those things mothers always say really do hold true. Such as "If you don't have anything nice to say, keep your damn mouth shut!" Now my mother was a German woman and we Germans have a way of putting things. We are very selective and sensitive to others when we speak. That would be sarcasm thee for those of you that don't have a lot of experience with us Germans. I will tell you what brought all this up for me today. I have a dear friend that is building a house. Well apparently several people like to comment to her and or her husband that they must be rich to build such a big house. It makes them feel bad when people say things like this. I have dealt with the same sort of comments. But here is the thing, what if they are rich, so be it. Its their money they can build whatever they want. Now lets say they don't have any of the money needed to build this house. Who's business is it of anyone? What it comes down too is jealousy. Someone is mad that they either can't or don't think that they can afford the same thing. Maybe they can maybe they can't. The point is don't hate. Better yet don't concern yourself with it. Be happy for others and what they want to have for themselves. Hell you don't even have to be happy. Maybe you don't really care, but don't go make some run of the mill comment that may hurt some one's feelings or make them feel bad about something they are doing. Brings up another thing we were all told growing up. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. We could all learn to live that way a little more in our lives.
I had another conversation with a friend who was talking about having this event to go to and that she just didn't feel like she looked good enough for the event. This is a big problem that I encounter with people a lot. I have always been the "crazy" guy in that I would do anything regardless of how stupid or goofy it might be. I like to have fun and am going to do whatever strikes me as fun at the time. I don't care what others think. That's why I want a fur coat to dj in next month. Because I've always wanted a fur coat (Floor Length by the way). Will I look out of place at this event probably. Do I care? Heck no. But this problem my friend is having is based on the idea that someone will maybe make a comment either to her but most likely not. More likely it will be a comment to another person about my said friend. Again why hate. If we all just worried about ourselves and not so much about everyone else and just try to be decent people each and everyday everyone would get along so much better. And I bet a lot of people would feel better about themselves. Now I am not going to sit here and tell you that I don't have moments were I am self conscious about something but they really are far and few in between. And I know that I sometimes don't paint the best picture of myself in this blog but that is more because I am into self-deprecation as of late. Don't worry though, I have a feeling that the self glorifying stage is right around the corner. So everyone should let their freak flag fly. Dance to the beat of your own drum and if someone doesn't like it. Well tell them to piss off or any _____ off phrase you would like. I myself prefer to just yell Fawk You! to the haters. Although that gets confusing because I also greet my best friend on the phone the same way.
I'd like to say that I didn't mean to get all preachy but that wouldn't be true. I set out tonight with this in mind. Now I know most of you reading this probably don't do much hating. But we all do a little occasionally. I'm gonna try to do better and all of you should try to too. And if someone hates on you you know what to tell them and don't let it carry much weight because you know why they are doing it. Maybe I need to stop with the church going now that I am standing in my pulpit telling everyone how to live.
Ok so what I learned at work today. I need to explain two things for this story and I don't know which should go first so I'm just gonna start. I have an issue with hair. I have naturally curly hair and I can't ever figure out what to do with it when it gets any length to it. My issue doesn't end with head hair but that will probably come up later on. So anyway, if I get into a mood or need a change in my life it will usually result in a hair cut. I have no problem putting a pair of clippers to my head and shaving it all off. I will even put shaving cream on and shave it all off no problem. I've always went into it with the attitude of hey it will grow back. The problem lately has been that B hates it when I cut my hair. The first time she mentioned it I had actually shaved my head bald and the next day I picked her up and she was scared to come to me. So I know that was a little extreme and said I would not shave my head again since she told me she didn't like it. Plus everyday she reminded me how it was growing back and that it looked better everyday from the next. Well a few weeks ago I cut my hair. Just took about a half inch off maybe. Not too short but as soon as B came over she looked at me and said "Look what you've done to your hair." So I guess I'm not allowed to cut it anymore. Which is fine because I will do anything that little girl asks me to do. So I have to figure out what to do with my hair when it starts to get longer. I thought I may need to find me a good stylist that could give some ideas and some tips on how to deal with all this hair.
Now the work portion part of the story. I work with two black guys in Pembroke, Andre and Tony. They are extremely funny to me. They always have some sort of physical competition we need to do each day. One day it was jumping rope. Yesterday it was different types of push-ups. They also like to offer me advice. Usually on women. Its worth a chuckle. Well today we were working and I saw a guy walking through town with dreadlocks. Well I asked them how do they get their hair that way? I've seen football players with dreads coming out from under their helmets and guys walking around with them and thought that would be a good way to control my hair. So Tony explains that the hair is twisted and that bee's wax is put into the twists. I asked him if they knew anyone that could do it. Sure they said. Why do you ask. Well I told them I thought about doing it to my hair and that's when today's piece of wisdom was given to me. Andre said "Don't do that Greg. You won't be able to keep a job if you do." And he delivered it so point blank and dry. Apparently employers will think I am a thug if I have dreads. So I guess I will have to figure something else out to do with my hair. So I am going to try and post a daily piece of wisdom from those two each day because I'm pretty sure they offer them daily. Ok good night everyone.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Candice!
peace out
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
More Australian Open For Me Please
So as I type tonight I find myself yet again watching tennis. I did watch 24/7 Jimmie Johnson before that. And I can't wait for Hard Knocks to come back on in the summer. Maybe my issue here is that I think that by watching all these different sports I am actually getting some sort of health benefit from it. I seriously doubt that though because yesterday I thought my heart rate monitor chest strap was going to either suffocate me or snap apart. What I did not understand was I had not adjusted the strap since the last time I had worn it on Monday. Can someone really put on that much weight in a 24 hour period? My weight really does fluctuate a lot day to day. It may have something to do with my twelve pack diet coke a day habit I have.
O.k. so this past weekend I dj'd a 60'th birthday party. By dj'd I mean I played music from four different ipods while people froze their behinds off. It was good times though. There was this one character there who eventually loosened up, and by loosened up I mean had enough to drink, that he turned my dj equipment into his own personal karaoke machine. I actually enjoyed his enthusiasm because it is usually me who winds up acting like a complete jackass and I do use that term in a positive light because I saw the look in this guys girlfriends eyes. You have all seen and or had that look. The "I can not believe he is acting like this in front of all of these nice people" look. But he did not care and neither did I. It was time to party.
Well apparently I did such a splendid job that I have been asked to do another party in about a month. Now this is going to be for a much younger crowd so it is going to require different equipment. I am going to need something that has some ba ba ba bass. So I got on the horn tonight and made the appropriate arrangements. See here is the thing about me though. I tend to get very obsessed with things. I have already started researching and pricing my own DJ equipment. Everyday I think about what I need to make this next party even more successful. I think part of it is my love for technology and playing with new electronics.
Now something I need for this party that is not electronic or technological is a fur coat. That's right. A full length fur coat. I've wanted one for quite some time. Back in my going to the bar days I always wanted one. If you don't know Statesboro it is not the kind of town where a man comes out wearing a fur coat. So if anyone out there has a fur coat that they would like to let me borrow for this occasion let me know. It would be worth it just for the comedy of me wearing a fur coat at this party. Oh and i am probably going to wear sunglasses all night although that may hinder my ability to see what I am actually queuing up on the ipods. But whatever. I do what I have to do for fashion sake.
Well I apologize yet again. I know these last few posts haven't been real amusing or funny. I haven't had a lot of funny things going on as of late. Maybe that will all change soon. Maybe I am in a mood. I will try to do better, promise.
peace out
O.k. so this past weekend I dj'd a 60'th birthday party. By dj'd I mean I played music from four different ipods while people froze their behinds off. It was good times though. There was this one character there who eventually loosened up, and by loosened up I mean had enough to drink, that he turned my dj equipment into his own personal karaoke machine. I actually enjoyed his enthusiasm because it is usually me who winds up acting like a complete jackass and I do use that term in a positive light because I saw the look in this guys girlfriends eyes. You have all seen and or had that look. The "I can not believe he is acting like this in front of all of these nice people" look. But he did not care and neither did I. It was time to party.
Well apparently I did such a splendid job that I have been asked to do another party in about a month. Now this is going to be for a much younger crowd so it is going to require different equipment. I am going to need something that has some ba ba ba bass. So I got on the horn tonight and made the appropriate arrangements. See here is the thing about me though. I tend to get very obsessed with things. I have already started researching and pricing my own DJ equipment. Everyday I think about what I need to make this next party even more successful. I think part of it is my love for technology and playing with new electronics.
Now something I need for this party that is not electronic or technological is a fur coat. That's right. A full length fur coat. I've wanted one for quite some time. Back in my going to the bar days I always wanted one. If you don't know Statesboro it is not the kind of town where a man comes out wearing a fur coat. So if anyone out there has a fur coat that they would like to let me borrow for this occasion let me know. It would be worth it just for the comedy of me wearing a fur coat at this party. Oh and i am probably going to wear sunglasses all night although that may hinder my ability to see what I am actually queuing up on the ipods. But whatever. I do what I have to do for fashion sake.
Well I apologize yet again. I know these last few posts haven't been real amusing or funny. I haven't had a lot of funny things going on as of late. Maybe that will all change soon. Maybe I am in a mood. I will try to do better, promise.
peace out
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
I'm getting old folks.
Hey everybody. I say that like there are a thousand people that read this thing. There could be if each of you currently reading it would tell someone else about it and they then told someone else and then, booyah!, t-shirts. That's right t-shirts. It's like a pyramid scam. But its not because none of you would get paid, just me. And whomever I get to print the shirts. Maybe a discount is in order for you early followers and maybe you all can kiss my...I'm just kidding. Speaking of pyramid scams, when I was at that interview the "interviewer" or lady trying to tell me how much money I can make explained how their management program was in fact not a pyramid scam. I was asking how the managers make money if they are not out selling insurance policies. Well here is her explanation. To avoid the pyramid scam which I believe is illegal, you draw a diagram that uses circles instead. Geometry dictates that a circle is not in fact a pyramid. A triangle is. Well she proceeds to draw three circles, one on top, two on the bottom. Now if you were to draw lines tangent to the circles you know what they would form? A damn pyramid! This is the kinda mickey mouse stuff I would have to deal with if I worked there. Plus I don't think that anyone there knows what a tangent line is .
So on to why I am getting old. The reason I said it tonight was because as I sit here I am watching the Australian Open. That's tennis for those of you that don't know. Heck I would not have known had I not been watching it. I just watched Venus Williams get beat by Li Na. My point is that I will watch any type of sport now-a-days and I think its because I don't have to really invest a lot of intellect to watch. Although I do tend to immerse myself into sports after watching them once. I will probably subscribe to a tennis magazine here in the next day or two. I mean I am already jonesing to go play tennis especially now that I found someone that "plays."
So I am getting a little down because football will be over in two weeks which is my favorite sport to watch. I have started watching some NBA and NHL. Actually I've started going to sleep while watching the NBA or NHL. I am super excited about the Winter Olympics in a few weeks. See that's more than just normal excited. Most people are just excited but not me. My excitement has super powers. Which are the ability for me to get very loud when discussing whatever makes me excited. Anyway, then this summer you have the 2010 FIFA Worldcup. And of course the Tour de France. No lie last year I tivo'd the Tour on days I could not be home to watch it. That's were my Bicycling magazine subscription came from. My triathlete magazine came from me watching the Ford Ironman World Championships in Kona this year. I even tivo'd bull riding a few weeks ago. I may have a problem. Oh yeah its that I am getting old
Another sign that I am getting old besides the chronic back pain every morning when getting up is that I can hurt myself quite easily now at my age. Today I was at work and I was pouring some curb. This was my second attempt at this curb. The first was met with great disapproval from the DOT inspector lady. I can't say I blame her for rejecting it. I mean it looked bad. And when she came to say that it looked bad she turned and asked me "Were you in charge of that?" I took that very personally. Then again how couldn't I? It was directed at me and that is what I've been hired to do. So today I tried again but on a much smaller scale. Now I had started to seriously doubt my capabilities to hand make curb. I come with a reputation of being able to do it well. Well the truth is I managed a group of employees who did it very very well. Its kind of like guilty by association except for in a good way. My actual experience "pulling" curb is minimal. And by minimal I mean I may have done it twice in my illustrious career. But I do not back down from a challenge but after last week I really started to question if I had bitten off more than I could handle. Well let me tell you, I had not. The curb I created today was beautiful, almost perfect. And I wound up doing it all by myself. Good lord it looked good. So now we are getting to the old portion of the story which turned into more of a how good am I story. Well after finishing and surveying my master piece, I proceeded to throw down my hand tools, raise both arms in the air in victorious fashion, and then do a handstand on the side of highway 204. And another. And that was the last one because I hurt my wrists. Both of them. To the point that they still are sore tonight. Was it worth it in the end? Hell Yeah! The city of Pembroke needs to be aware that greatness is among them. They just need to be gentle with me when shaking my hands. Don't want to fracture any bones.
Well that's about it for this evening. Plus I need to pay attention to this tennis match. So good night. Sleep tight. And don't let the bed bugs bite. You may actually want to wash your sheets if you have bed bugs you nasty person you.
peace out
So on to why I am getting old. The reason I said it tonight was because as I sit here I am watching the Australian Open. That's tennis for those of you that don't know. Heck I would not have known had I not been watching it. I just watched Venus Williams get beat by Li Na. My point is that I will watch any type of sport now-a-days and I think its because I don't have to really invest a lot of intellect to watch. Although I do tend to immerse myself into sports after watching them once. I will probably subscribe to a tennis magazine here in the next day or two. I mean I am already jonesing to go play tennis especially now that I found someone that "plays."
So I am getting a little down because football will be over in two weeks which is my favorite sport to watch. I have started watching some NBA and NHL. Actually I've started going to sleep while watching the NBA or NHL. I am super excited about the Winter Olympics in a few weeks. See that's more than just normal excited. Most people are just excited but not me. My excitement has super powers. Which are the ability for me to get very loud when discussing whatever makes me excited. Anyway, then this summer you have the 2010 FIFA Worldcup. And of course the Tour de France. No lie last year I tivo'd the Tour on days I could not be home to watch it. That's were my Bicycling magazine subscription came from. My triathlete magazine came from me watching the Ford Ironman World Championships in Kona this year. I even tivo'd bull riding a few weeks ago. I may have a problem. Oh yeah its that I am getting old
Another sign that I am getting old besides the chronic back pain every morning when getting up is that I can hurt myself quite easily now at my age. Today I was at work and I was pouring some curb. This was my second attempt at this curb. The first was met with great disapproval from the DOT inspector lady. I can't say I blame her for rejecting it. I mean it looked bad. And when she came to say that it looked bad she turned and asked me "Were you in charge of that?" I took that very personally. Then again how couldn't I? It was directed at me and that is what I've been hired to do. So today I tried again but on a much smaller scale. Now I had started to seriously doubt my capabilities to hand make curb. I come with a reputation of being able to do it well. Well the truth is I managed a group of employees who did it very very well. Its kind of like guilty by association except for in a good way. My actual experience "pulling" curb is minimal. And by minimal I mean I may have done it twice in my illustrious career. But I do not back down from a challenge but after last week I really started to question if I had bitten off more than I could handle. Well let me tell you, I had not. The curb I created today was beautiful, almost perfect. And I wound up doing it all by myself. Good lord it looked good. So now we are getting to the old portion of the story which turned into more of a how good am I story. Well after finishing and surveying my master piece, I proceeded to throw down my hand tools, raise both arms in the air in victorious fashion, and then do a handstand on the side of highway 204. And another. And that was the last one because I hurt my wrists. Both of them. To the point that they still are sore tonight. Was it worth it in the end? Hell Yeah! The city of Pembroke needs to be aware that greatness is among them. They just need to be gentle with me when shaking my hands. Don't want to fracture any bones.
Well that's about it for this evening. Plus I need to pay attention to this tennis match. So good night. Sleep tight. And don't let the bed bugs bite. You may actually want to wash your sheets if you have bed bugs you nasty person you.
peace out
Monday, January 25, 2010
I'm baaaack!!!!
Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls. Ringling Bros. and Barnum and Bailey circus presents...THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH!!!! And here is your official circus clown.
So we went to the circus last Thursday night. I had not told B about it until that afternoon because she has a tendency to hound you about something she is excited about. Little did I realize that I was much more excited about the circus than I thought. On the way to our house I was telling her about all the things we would see and my voice kept getting louder and higher pitched. I was getting very excited. Its been a while since I have been to the circus. Well the circus trip was also a good bargaining chip to get B to take her afternoon nap.
So after her nap we leave and drive to Savannah and arrive at the civic center. Remember when I said I was excited. Well I was also over zealous because we got there thirty minutes before the pre-show. That's a lot of time to be in the lobby with all these souvenir stands. And if you do not have children or have never taken your child to an event like the circus or Disney on ice let me just fore warn you about something. Take the price of the ticket and double that. That's what you are going to spend on things that spin, light up, make noise, and or hats for your kid at one of these things. Now you may think that the kids want everything they see. That's not so much the case when I am involved. B will usually want one or two things and they are easy to pick out. Whatever has the most lights or makes the most noise is what she is going to want. The expense comes when I decide that she needs some other things that she does not realize she needs. The last time we went to Disney on ice, i went to the concession stand and came back with $50 worth of nemo merch.
And another thing about souvenirs at these things. If you go with two children, do not for one second think you can get by with buying one kid something and not the other. Does not matter if the other child gets something of their own, oh no. You better be prepared to buy two of everything. B's friend Bo and her mom went with us to the circus and we had to double up on everything, just like NASA. It was good times.
OK so they finally open the doors and we get to go in. Along with thinking my child needs everything they sell I also believe she should be privy to the best seats, so our seats were on the floor first row. Well this posed a problem. If you remember from my other post, there apparently is a high concentration of hillbillies at the circus. Well when we got in the arena B's hillbilly-dar must have went berserk because she was having none of that. I still am not sure if it was the crowd or juggling that freaked her out but she was not happy. Well Bo wanted to see what all the commotion was about so I took her closer to the ring and while we were there one of the circus performers gave her a clown nose. So think back to the previous paragraph and you realize this is not going to go over very well when we get back to our seats. Well sure enough when Bo and I returned B wanted to know where we got that nose from and hillbillies be damned she want me to take her to go get her one. I never found the guy that was handing them out but much like me, B is not going to accept failure. She found one halfway across the floor and went on herself a little recon mission to retrieve herself a clown nose.
Now we were a little concerned that the clowns would actually pose a problem for the girls. Much to my surprise when the head clown spoke to B she actually said hey and gave him a hi-five. Now she was on a mission for that clown nose and asked if that clown was the one giving them out so to her he was cool. But please keep those hillbillies away.
But the best moment for me at the circus besides the guys that were doing all the twirly whirly stuff during the show was when the elephants entered. The look on B's face was like the commercial says, priceless. She was awestruck at this huge thing having just walked in and all fear was gone because she wanted to go over and pet it. It is such a great feeling for me when she gets to experience something new and is excited about it.She was at times mesmerized.
Oh and that hat on her head. It comes with a bag of cotton candy. So of course two bags of cotton candy were bought. She wore the hell out of that hat. Even the next day. It also doubles as a suitcase for her toys. She filled that sucker up when she was getting ready to go back to her mother's.
So the circus was a good time and I'm sure she will want to go back again next year. And come on we all know I want to go back again too
On the non-circus front. I had another job interview Friday and it too was pretty much a waste of my time. The lady "interviewing" me did not even know my name. During her little presentation she actually refer ed to me in an example as "Mr. So and So." It was a real unprofessional environment. I mean during the little "opportunity of a life time" video they had me and the other girl watch, the computer's screen saver kicked in four different times which required that I get up and go turn it off and make the video play again. So I will have to find a job elsewhere.
I did get my laptop up and running so now I can update the blog from the comfort of my recliner while watching t.v. It has worked out pretty good thus far tonight. I've been steady typing away while watching the Atlanta Hawks game. So hopefully I will get back on track with daily updates. There really has not been much comedy going on n my life the last few days and I think that's one reason why I have not posted on here. I have had one request to updated so hopefully that person is happy now. O.k. until next time.
peace out
So we went to the circus last Thursday night. I had not told B about it until that afternoon because she has a tendency to hound you about something she is excited about. Little did I realize that I was much more excited about the circus than I thought. On the way to our house I was telling her about all the things we would see and my voice kept getting louder and higher pitched. I was getting very excited. Its been a while since I have been to the circus. Well the circus trip was also a good bargaining chip to get B to take her afternoon nap.So after her nap we leave and drive to Savannah and arrive at the civic center. Remember when I said I was excited. Well I was also over zealous because we got there thirty minutes before the pre-show. That's a lot of time to be in the lobby with all these souvenir stands. And if you do not have children or have never taken your child to an event like the circus or Disney on ice let me just fore warn you about something. Take the price of the ticket and double that. That's what you are going to spend on things that spin, light up, make noise, and or hats for your kid at one of these things. Now you may think that the kids want everything they see. That's not so much the case when I am involved. B will usually want one or two things and they are easy to pick out. Whatever has the most lights or makes the most noise is what she is going to want. The expense comes when I decide that she needs some other things that she does not realize she needs. The last time we went to Disney on ice, i went to the concession stand and came back with $50 worth of nemo merch.
And another thing about souvenirs at these things. If you go with two children, do not for one second think you can get by with buying one kid something and not the other. Does not matter if the other child gets something of their own, oh no. You better be prepared to buy two of everything. B's friend Bo and her mom went with us to the circus and we had to double up on everything, just like NASA. It was good times.
OK so they finally open the doors and we get to go in. Along with thinking my child needs everything they sell I also believe she should be privy to the best seats, so our seats were on the floor first row. Well this posed a problem. If you remember from my other post, there apparently is a high concentration of hillbillies at the circus. Well when we got in the arena B's hillbilly-dar must have went berserk because she was having none of that. I still am not sure if it was the crowd or juggling that freaked her out but she was not happy. Well Bo wanted to see what all the commotion was about so I took her closer to the ring and while we were there one of the circus performers gave her a clown nose. So think back to the previous paragraph and you realize this is not going to go over very well when we get back to our seats. Well sure enough when Bo and I returned B wanted to know where we got that nose from and hillbillies be damned she want me to take her to go get her one. I never found the guy that was handing them out but much like me, B is not going to accept failure. She found one halfway across the floor and went on herself a little recon mission to retrieve herself a clown nose.
Now we were a little concerned that the clowns would actually pose a problem for the girls. Much to my surprise when the head clown spoke to B she actually said hey and gave him a hi-five. Now she was on a mission for that clown nose and asked if that clown was the one giving them out so to her he was cool. But please keep those hillbillies away.
But the best moment for me at the circus besides the guys that were doing all the twirly whirly stuff during the show was when the elephants entered. The look on B's face was like the commercial says, priceless. She was awestruck at this huge thing having just walked in and all fear was gone because she wanted to go over and pet it. It is such a great feeling for me when she gets to experience something new and is excited about it.She was at times mesmerized.
Oh and that hat on her head. It comes with a bag of cotton candy. So of course two bags of cotton candy were bought. She wore the hell out of that hat. Even the next day. It also doubles as a suitcase for her toys. She filled that sucker up when she was getting ready to go back to her mother's. 
So the circus was a good time and I'm sure she will want to go back again next year. And come on we all know I want to go back again tooOn the non-circus front. I had another job interview Friday and it too was pretty much a waste of my time. The lady "interviewing" me did not even know my name. During her little presentation she actually refer ed to me in an example as "Mr. So and So." It was a real unprofessional environment. I mean during the little "opportunity of a life time" video they had me and the other girl watch, the computer's screen saver kicked in four different times which required that I get up and go turn it off and make the video play again. So I will have to find a job elsewhere.
I did get my laptop up and running so now I can update the blog from the comfort of my recliner while watching t.v. It has worked out pretty good thus far tonight. I've been steady typing away while watching the Atlanta Hawks game. So hopefully I will get back on track with daily updates. There really has not been much comedy going on n my life the last few days and I think that's one reason why I have not posted on here. I have had one request to updated so hopefully that person is happy now. O.k. until next time.
peace out
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
I am a Runner
Or at least I felt like one tonight. So after I got home today from my "consultant" job and was turned down by both of my running partners to go on a run I decided I should go solo. This is a problem for me when I've already made it home. My normal running spot is at Mill Creek park. They have a nice quaint little one and a quarter mile loop. Two and a half times around and you've run yourself a 5K. I've run a few 5k's. Nothing special really I know. I don't run them at some blistering pace. Quite the contrary. If they ever had an over 30, over weight, under 5 foot 8 inch, non-citizen age bracket, oh I would dominate. Unfortunately they do not. That being said, I was in a turkey trot in 2008 where I finished 10.2 seconds from a third place finish in my age group. Now maybe you don't think that is so great but I was so close to a podium position. I don't think they actually have podiums at the Statesboro races and I didn't find out how close I was to a bronze medal until a year later but that doesn't matter. 10.2 seconds! If I would have known that at the time I would have tripped the guy in front of me and that is the truth.
So back to tonight's run. I hate running from my house. I dopn't know why. Maybe its because of the summer I decided I wanted to try out for the cross country team in high school. That was short lived. Which is a shame because I went through the physical and everything which at the time was very never wracking for me. Back then I knew absolutely nothing about running. I'd always head out for a run at about 12 pm. What a dummy. But tonight was going to be different. I have goals for 2010. This is going to be my year. 2008 was supposed to be and let me assure you it was far far from my year. O.k. I get suited up for this run tonight. First up is my heart rate monitor. I don't have a heart condition. It goes with my Garmin Forerunner 305. This is a pretty cool little device. It uses gps satellites to track my runs. It gives you distance, elevation changes, pace, heart rate, and a bunch of other things. Next is my technical t-shirt to wick away sweat. Then a long sleeve shirt followed by my fuel belt which holds a bottle of water and some energy gels which I do not use because once I tried one and thought I would puke. Next is a hat to keep my head warm or so Runner's world says and then a headlight so cars can see me as I run in the dark. And finally my saucony running shoes. Oh and shorts lets not forget them. Although I do enjoy a nice run on the treadmill in just a jock strap. Just kidding. Ok I may have actually done that but hey I live alone. When any of you start paying my mortgage then you can tell me what to do in the house. Until then, enjoy that mental image. I wear the jock backwards by the way. Ouch not really.
So out the door I go and I must say it was a very good run for me. 2.1 miles in 21 minutes. 9:50 mile pace. Not bad for someone who runs about once every two weeks. I am well on my way. In 2010 I would like to complete a 10k, a half marathon and then finally a full marathon. Sprinkle in a triathlon in there somewhere too. I really do want to do one of those. I have the bike and I run already. I went to the indoor pool and swam a half mile a few weeks ago just to try it out. That was a workout. I think I can accomplish all of this in the upcoming year. If anyone wants to join in feel free. Lets all try to be more active this year. Together.
All of that being said I have to go. I have a friend who is cooking chicken pot chicken pot chicken pot pie in exchange for me hanging a curtain rod. One of the only friends I have that really ever got it. If you offer me food you can get me to do just about anything. Really. You show up with a honey bun and its on. But i am going to cut out honey buns this year. O.k. till next time
peace out
So back to tonight's run. I hate running from my house. I dopn't know why. Maybe its because of the summer I decided I wanted to try out for the cross country team in high school. That was short lived. Which is a shame because I went through the physical and everything which at the time was very never wracking for me. Back then I knew absolutely nothing about running. I'd always head out for a run at about 12 pm. What a dummy. But tonight was going to be different. I have goals for 2010. This is going to be my year. 2008 was supposed to be and let me assure you it was far far from my year. O.k. I get suited up for this run tonight. First up is my heart rate monitor. I don't have a heart condition. It goes with my Garmin Forerunner 305. This is a pretty cool little device. It uses gps satellites to track my runs. It gives you distance, elevation changes, pace, heart rate, and a bunch of other things. Next is my technical t-shirt to wick away sweat. Then a long sleeve shirt followed by my fuel belt which holds a bottle of water and some energy gels which I do not use because once I tried one and thought I would puke. Next is a hat to keep my head warm or so Runner's world says and then a headlight so cars can see me as I run in the dark. And finally my saucony running shoes. Oh and shorts lets not forget them. Although I do enjoy a nice run on the treadmill in just a jock strap. Just kidding. Ok I may have actually done that but hey I live alone. When any of you start paying my mortgage then you can tell me what to do in the house. Until then, enjoy that mental image. I wear the jock backwards by the way. Ouch not really.
So out the door I go and I must say it was a very good run for me. 2.1 miles in 21 minutes. 9:50 mile pace. Not bad for someone who runs about once every two weeks. I am well on my way. In 2010 I would like to complete a 10k, a half marathon and then finally a full marathon. Sprinkle in a triathlon in there somewhere too. I really do want to do one of those. I have the bike and I run already. I went to the indoor pool and swam a half mile a few weeks ago just to try it out. That was a workout. I think I can accomplish all of this in the upcoming year. If anyone wants to join in feel free. Lets all try to be more active this year. Together.
All of that being said I have to go. I have a friend who is cooking chicken pot chicken pot chicken pot pie in exchange for me hanging a curtain rod. One of the only friends I have that really ever got it. If you offer me food you can get me to do just about anything. Really. You show up with a honey bun and its on. But i am going to cut out honey buns this year. O.k. till next time
peace out
Monday, January 18, 2010
Welcome back Kotter
So I haven't been blogging for a few days. I've been kinda busy with the little one and the NFL playoffs. That and nothing real exciting has been going on in my world for the past few days. My interview on Friday turned out to be a complete and total waste of time. They were looking for a copier repair guy but wanted to pay McDonald fry cook money and honestly I'd rather sling burgers and get that employee discount. I mean what am I gonna need with a copier that colates? Now a free hot apple pie? Hell yeah I'll work a double shift. But hey it all good because it's not like I went applied for this job. I heard about it from a friend who talked to the guy who owns the place but didn't realy know what his tech and I use that term very loosely department needed in a new employee. See I thought it was a computer service type job which I've been told I have mad skills with. I could have mad copier repair skills too but not for that little bit of coin. Basically i'd make as much there in 40 hours a week as I make doing my "consultant" work now for 20 hours. So I've come to the conclusion that I need to look for me a real job maybe even a new career. That being said if anybody needs some computer repair work done ia
your guy. I only have on stipulation. You have to bring me And leave your computer with me. There is nothing worse than trying to chit chat while you wait on some process to finish just to have to do it again. I like to do that in the comfort of my own home so I can multi-task and by that I mean watch the Dan Patrick show. Which by the way is a terrific sports radio show.
Ok I'm gonna go for now because I'm tired of typing on my iPod touch. See the little girl is asleep in daddy's room where the computer is because I had to take her to the doctor today for some sort of rash/alergic reaction and afterwards she said she wanted to come stay at my house tonight. But I have to remember to tell everyone about what she told me tonight as to why we can't go to the circus. But that will have to wait. Oh what the heck. We were watching the ant and the aardvark tonight when she was comparing the mouth of said aardvark to that of an elephant which is his trunk she pointed out. Apparently aleady at three she thinks I am am idiot. Well I asked her if she would like to see a real elephant and she asked where they are. I responded with Africa and the circus. She said we could not go to the circus because there is this book about the circus that has dumbo in it and at the circus there are a lot of hillbillies. I am not making this up. Now I don't remember the story of dumbo word for word but I am pretty sure there is no mention of hillbillies. But it made for a good laugh. And she is pretty much set on us just going to Africa to see elephants. I guess the hillbilly population is less there. I'm taking her to the circus this week though
ok well good night everyone.
your guy. I only have on stipulation. You have to bring me And leave your computer with me. There is nothing worse than trying to chit chat while you wait on some process to finish just to have to do it again. I like to do that in the comfort of my own home so I can multi-task and by that I mean watch the Dan Patrick show. Which by the way is a terrific sports radio show.
Ok I'm gonna go for now because I'm tired of typing on my iPod touch. See the little girl is asleep in daddy's room where the computer is because I had to take her to the doctor today for some sort of rash/alergic reaction and afterwards she said she wanted to come stay at my house tonight. But I have to remember to tell everyone about what she told me tonight as to why we can't go to the circus. But that will have to wait. Oh what the heck. We were watching the ant and the aardvark tonight when she was comparing the mouth of said aardvark to that of an elephant which is his trunk she pointed out. Apparently aleady at three she thinks I am am idiot. Well I asked her if she would like to see a real elephant and she asked where they are. I responded with Africa and the circus. She said we could not go to the circus because there is this book about the circus that has dumbo in it and at the circus there are a lot of hillbillies. I am not making this up. Now I don't remember the story of dumbo word for word but I am pretty sure there is no mention of hillbillies. But it made for a good laugh. And she is pretty much set on us just going to Africa to see elephants. I guess the hillbilly population is less there. I'm taking her to the circus this week though
ok well good night everyone.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
So I guess I have some explaining to do...
Good Evening fine folks.
I am writing my post for tomorrow tonight because I have something to do which I will explain in just a minute. So in my first real post I stated that I have been unemployed since march of 2009. And then this morning I had to go to go to work. These seem like contradictions. Well they are. I have a part time-ish job. I do some concrete "consultant" work for a contractor here in Statesboro. I will post a picture later to show what it is I do. My responsibilities are to go and make sure that the concrete pours that these guys do are done correctly. I have to make sure everything is done per the DOT (dept of transportation) specifications. I got this job because a good friend of mine works for this contractor and he knew I was out of work and he knows that I posses mad concrete skills. Booyah! Its pretty easy work for me and it's a paycheck. Basically I will drive to the job about three days a week and we pour a little bit of concrete and then when I leave the nice little town of Pembroke Georgia has some more sidewalks for its constituents not to walk on. The problem with this kind of setup is that like for the past month the weather has kept me from working. First it was the rain and the holidays. I realize that the holidays are not weather. I got it. Then after the first of the year it is too cold to pour concrete and it set properly before the temperature gets below freezing. This is where those DOT standards come in. See it has to be 45 degrees and rising in order to pour concrete on a state funded project. Now our lovely inspector stated that temperature had to be achieved in the shade. So needless to say i have not been called into "work" for the last two weeks.
Ok so I am pretty sure that was not as entertaining as what you are used to so I will try to rectify that situation now. As I mentioned before it has been cold here for about two weeks. Colder than I can remember for such a sustained period of time at least. Well today the temp is going to be conducive for concrete pouring. The problem is I don't particularly care to be out in the cold. There are actually two things I don't like when I am at work. Being cold or being wet. If I am ever cold and wet well then don't talk to me about anger issues because no amount of therapy I get is gonna help. By the way I told my therapist that I was writing this blog and she should check it out. I don't know if she has but as far as I can tell she has not become a follower. I don't know how that makes me feel. Maybe I need to write that down in my journal to discuss next time I go see her. I am kidding I don't keep a journal. Ok back to the cold and my dislike of it. I learned a long time ago that if I just layered my clothes when I had to be outside I would be fine. The problem is I layer like Ralphie's little brother in A Christmas Story except I do it on purpose. I literally can not move my arms I have so much clothes on. But you know what I am not cold. Well today was one of those days where I layered up real nice. And of course once I got all bundled up I had to go to the port o potty. Never fails. So here comes a little of honesty some may not care for so I am sorry. As previously mentioned I do not like the cold. There are other parts of me that dislike it as much if not more than I do. So let me tell you that little easter egg hunt is real fun when you are having to go through a pair of coveralls, pants, thermal underwear, and a pair of boxer briefs. The zippers are not that difficult but the fly's on the underwear can be a little annoying. Even more so when you add a new twist to the process. And that twist was I apparently put my thermals on backwards today when I got dressed. Ok so that could happen to anybody I am sure but at some time you think you would notice. Not me, not until I had to go potty. That's not even the worse part. The worse part is that that was the most comfortable those thermals have ever felt. When I had them on backwards. That disturbed me a little. That and the fact I could not tell they were on backwards. I didn't change them though so I guess tomorrow I will just tuck my business to the back and wear a dress. I don't know where that just came from.
Update on the weight loss. Two nights ago I read my triathlete magazine for about thirty minutes and then ate some cheesecake. So we will chalk that up to counter productive. Today I ate a double cheeseburger at the diner in Pembroke. And man was it on heck of a burger. They threw in some free apple cobbler because they were out of onion rings so I had to settle for fries. But I am glad to report I went on a run today. My friend Candice called and asked if I wanted to run today and we did a little two and a half mile run. So thanks to her. I had cheesecake tonight though. I did watch the Xterra US world Championships tonight and that gave me a little inspiration.
And now for the reason I am writing tonight as opposed to tomorrow morning. I have a job interview in the morning. Its for a computer technician type job. I did not actually apply for this job. The people I am interviewing with heard from a friend of mine that I am good ad trouble shooting computers and they said they would like to talk to me. So we will see. I am excited just because it would be a good job for me but more because I am just glad to get an interview. I have applied in the last ten months to many positions. I have yet to hear a word from any of them. What I've learned from this is that people do not want to hire someone with a college degree for a high school graduate type position. The thing is if I didn't want to do the work I wouldn't have applied for the position but I guess they do not see it that way. It doesn't matter because I am going to get this job tomorrow and then I am going straight to the pocket protector store. I've got my shirt's ironed and slacks pressed. I ironed two shirts because I am not sure how I will feel in the morning about one or the other when I wake up. So if I get this job I guess the blog can end because it was supposed to be about my journey to find a job. I never thought the search could come so quickly. But you know what they say things will happen when you least expect them. There they go again running off at the mouth. Ok well good night and as always....
peace out
I apologize if this post wasn't real funny. I will do better. Hey at least I have a profile picture up. Thank you James for that. The rest of you didn't even notice did you? Pay attention. That's B with me in the picture by the way.
I am writing my post for tomorrow tonight because I have something to do which I will explain in just a minute. So in my first real post I stated that I have been unemployed since march of 2009. And then this morning I had to go to go to work. These seem like contradictions. Well they are. I have a part time-ish job. I do some concrete "consultant" work for a contractor here in Statesboro. I will post a picture later to show what it is I do. My responsibilities are to go and make sure that the concrete pours that these guys do are done correctly. I have to make sure everything is done per the DOT (dept of transportation) specifications. I got this job because a good friend of mine works for this contractor and he knew I was out of work and he knows that I posses mad concrete skills. Booyah! Its pretty easy work for me and it's a paycheck. Basically I will drive to the job about three days a week and we pour a little bit of concrete and then when I leave the nice little town of Pembroke Georgia has some more sidewalks for its constituents not to walk on. The problem with this kind of setup is that like for the past month the weather has kept me from working. First it was the rain and the holidays. I realize that the holidays are not weather. I got it. Then after the first of the year it is too cold to pour concrete and it set properly before the temperature gets below freezing. This is where those DOT standards come in. See it has to be 45 degrees and rising in order to pour concrete on a state funded project. Now our lovely inspector stated that temperature had to be achieved in the shade. So needless to say i have not been called into "work" for the last two weeks.
Ok so I am pretty sure that was not as entertaining as what you are used to so I will try to rectify that situation now. As I mentioned before it has been cold here for about two weeks. Colder than I can remember for such a sustained period of time at least. Well today the temp is going to be conducive for concrete pouring. The problem is I don't particularly care to be out in the cold. There are actually two things I don't like when I am at work. Being cold or being wet. If I am ever cold and wet well then don't talk to me about anger issues because no amount of therapy I get is gonna help. By the way I told my therapist that I was writing this blog and she should check it out. I don't know if she has but as far as I can tell she has not become a follower. I don't know how that makes me feel. Maybe I need to write that down in my journal to discuss next time I go see her. I am kidding I don't keep a journal. Ok back to the cold and my dislike of it. I learned a long time ago that if I just layered my clothes when I had to be outside I would be fine. The problem is I layer like Ralphie's little brother in A Christmas Story except I do it on purpose. I literally can not move my arms I have so much clothes on. But you know what I am not cold. Well today was one of those days where I layered up real nice. And of course once I got all bundled up I had to go to the port o potty. Never fails. So here comes a little of honesty some may not care for so I am sorry. As previously mentioned I do not like the cold. There are other parts of me that dislike it as much if not more than I do. So let me tell you that little easter egg hunt is real fun when you are having to go through a pair of coveralls, pants, thermal underwear, and a pair of boxer briefs. The zippers are not that difficult but the fly's on the underwear can be a little annoying. Even more so when you add a new twist to the process. And that twist was I apparently put my thermals on backwards today when I got dressed. Ok so that could happen to anybody I am sure but at some time you think you would notice. Not me, not until I had to go potty. That's not even the worse part. The worse part is that that was the most comfortable those thermals have ever felt. When I had them on backwards. That disturbed me a little. That and the fact I could not tell they were on backwards. I didn't change them though so I guess tomorrow I will just tuck my business to the back and wear a dress. I don't know where that just came from.
Update on the weight loss. Two nights ago I read my triathlete magazine for about thirty minutes and then ate some cheesecake. So we will chalk that up to counter productive. Today I ate a double cheeseburger at the diner in Pembroke. And man was it on heck of a burger. They threw in some free apple cobbler because they were out of onion rings so I had to settle for fries. But I am glad to report I went on a run today. My friend Candice called and asked if I wanted to run today and we did a little two and a half mile run. So thanks to her. I had cheesecake tonight though. I did watch the Xterra US world Championships tonight and that gave me a little inspiration.
And now for the reason I am writing tonight as opposed to tomorrow morning. I have a job interview in the morning. Its for a computer technician type job. I did not actually apply for this job. The people I am interviewing with heard from a friend of mine that I am good ad trouble shooting computers and they said they would like to talk to me. So we will see. I am excited just because it would be a good job for me but more because I am just glad to get an interview. I have applied in the last ten months to many positions. I have yet to hear a word from any of them. What I've learned from this is that people do not want to hire someone with a college degree for a high school graduate type position. The thing is if I didn't want to do the work I wouldn't have applied for the position but I guess they do not see it that way. It doesn't matter because I am going to get this job tomorrow and then I am going straight to the pocket protector store. I've got my shirt's ironed and slacks pressed. I ironed two shirts because I am not sure how I will feel in the morning about one or the other when I wake up. So if I get this job I guess the blog can end because it was supposed to be about my journey to find a job. I never thought the search could come so quickly. But you know what they say things will happen when you least expect them. There they go again running off at the mouth. Ok well good night and as always....
peace out
I apologize if this post wasn't real funny. I will do better. Hey at least I have a profile picture up. Thank you James for that. The rest of you didn't even notice did you? Pay attention. That's B with me in the picture by the way.
Oh the Joy of Walmart
Good Morning everybody.
Ok for starters I am not sure why I update this every morning, but it seems to be what gets me out of bed in the mornings. So yesterday I was driving through town when I saw a car with a bumper sticker on it that said "Hookahs not Bazookas." Whatever pothead. When did things become "funny" just because they rhymed? And feel free to use air quotes when reading "funny". You did it didn't you. Feels good I know. Makes you feel somewhat superior. Ok calm down. I believe if you have a bumper sticker like that on your vehicle you are just begging the cops, or popos if you will, to pull you over. And if they do in fact pull you over then hey it's your own fault hippie. I mean I got pulled over the other day for a suspended tag. Now I was not doing anything that warranted running my tag but the police officer did. Notice how when he pulls me over he is a police officer? Hey I don't need nor can I afford any legal troubles right now. If that means there has to be a lot of "Yes Mr. Officer, I'm sorry sir. I will get this taken care of right away." Don't judge me. Hey we were talking about these tree huggers not me anyway.
So I decided to go to Walmart on this excursion out of the house yesterday. I think we all have a love hate relationship with Walmart. We love that it has everything, your one stop shop. We hate that everyone goes when we go. Which is always. I'm sure you have all done this. We sit around and formulate these strategies as to when Walmart won't be so busy. Well guess what? I have been there at every conceivable time and it is always busy. And things are spread out all over the place. It never fails that I wind up having to circumnavigate the store a minimum of two times to get everything I went in for just to get back to my truck and realize I forgot the main thing I went in there for. While I am typing this I realized that this may be one of their marketing strategies. Utterly confuse the customer until they leave without what they came in for in the first place. And do you know why they want this to happen? Because when you come back your are going to purchase at least one thing you had no intention of buying not just on that trip but ever. I have more stuff that was an impulse buy than I have things I really need.
So on this trip I was looking for a few things. Poster board, two clamps, a clamp on heat lamp for my dog's house, and one of those magnetic toys where you move the little metal shvings around to make hair and a beard on the guys face. Its an old school little toy. B saw one and wanted to try it and for some reason this equals "I need to buy here one" in my mind. I could not find one and it may have something to do with the description I used to the Walmart "Associate". I pretty much asked for it just like I wrote it previously and she said kinda like an etch-a-sketch. Between the two of us we were looking for one kick ass toy that does not exist.
Well as I am wondering aimlessly through the store I find myself singing out loud. I am singing the Pretenders out loud. Yes I am singing "I touch Myself" out loud. Not just the chorus either. I do not know why this song popped into my head but once it did I could not help myself. I am pretty sure that it was not because I saw something that invoked those kind of feelings in me. There are not very many times that I see a female in walmart that makes me want to do interpretive dance to the pretenders. I mean come on some of these girls show up at walmart in there pajamas, and not sexy pajamas. Apparently that is a new outfit though because there was a girl at church the other day who obviously had to go or had been to walmart and just came on to church in the same outfit. And let me tell you when your friends that you go to church with say their church is real casual you should take that to mean pajamas are ok. I wore a suit and tie. A very nice suit. And I was the only one there in a suit and or tie for that matter. Let me tell you between pajama girl and me in a suit I looked like the bigger A-hole. I used to think that you could not over dress for an occasion but I have since changed my outlook on that. But I digress. And to clear this up, I was not in the pie section when I started singing either. That would have been a good guess though.
So I got my clamps and poster board and Elvis cd and Elton John cd. You see what I mean? No heat lamp and that was because they were out but I did not go in looking for cds. At this point you are probably thinking ok he is about to get out of there without anything else to tell. And I was close until...as I am checking out the cashier looks at the Elton cd and says "Isn't he a knight or something?" Wow that is so random of a question I thought. I told her I was pretty sure he had been knighted by the Queen, which by the way was another cd I had in hand but told myself enough was enough for this trip. I would probably be back tomorrow anyway. She then proceeds to ask me what that entails, being a knight. Now I don't really know but I can make some stuff up. So I told her I think it means he gets to carry a sword. And if there ever is a dragon problem he gets a call. I think she bought it. Couple Tiny Dancers Rocket Man abilities along with his knight sword and you've got yourself a dragon slayer much scarier then a shark riding on an elephants back. That last part was not my own idea. It was actually a Deep Thought by Jack Handey. After that I got out of the store. And have since been listening to the Elton John cd which makes me a little uncomfortable because its one thing to sing in the shower but a completely different thing to also dance along.
Anyway, I have to get ready to go to work now. I realize this may come as a shock to some. Especially since just two days ago I said I was unemployed. I will get into that later if you need me to but right now I need to go get ready.
peace out
Ok for starters I am not sure why I update this every morning, but it seems to be what gets me out of bed in the mornings. So yesterday I was driving through town when I saw a car with a bumper sticker on it that said "Hookahs not Bazookas." Whatever pothead. When did things become "funny" just because they rhymed? And feel free to use air quotes when reading "funny". You did it didn't you. Feels good I know. Makes you feel somewhat superior. Ok calm down. I believe if you have a bumper sticker like that on your vehicle you are just begging the cops, or popos if you will, to pull you over. And if they do in fact pull you over then hey it's your own fault hippie. I mean I got pulled over the other day for a suspended tag. Now I was not doing anything that warranted running my tag but the police officer did. Notice how when he pulls me over he is a police officer? Hey I don't need nor can I afford any legal troubles right now. If that means there has to be a lot of "Yes Mr. Officer, I'm sorry sir. I will get this taken care of right away." Don't judge me. Hey we were talking about these tree huggers not me anyway.
So I decided to go to Walmart on this excursion out of the house yesterday. I think we all have a love hate relationship with Walmart. We love that it has everything, your one stop shop. We hate that everyone goes when we go. Which is always. I'm sure you have all done this. We sit around and formulate these strategies as to when Walmart won't be so busy. Well guess what? I have been there at every conceivable time and it is always busy. And things are spread out all over the place. It never fails that I wind up having to circumnavigate the store a minimum of two times to get everything I went in for just to get back to my truck and realize I forgot the main thing I went in there for. While I am typing this I realized that this may be one of their marketing strategies. Utterly confuse the customer until they leave without what they came in for in the first place. And do you know why they want this to happen? Because when you come back your are going to purchase at least one thing you had no intention of buying not just on that trip but ever. I have more stuff that was an impulse buy than I have things I really need.
So on this trip I was looking for a few things. Poster board, two clamps, a clamp on heat lamp for my dog's house, and one of those magnetic toys where you move the little metal shvings around to make hair and a beard on the guys face. Its an old school little toy. B saw one and wanted to try it and for some reason this equals "I need to buy here one" in my mind. I could not find one and it may have something to do with the description I used to the Walmart "Associate". I pretty much asked for it just like I wrote it previously and she said kinda like an etch-a-sketch. Between the two of us we were looking for one kick ass toy that does not exist.
Well as I am wondering aimlessly through the store I find myself singing out loud. I am singing the Pretenders out loud. Yes I am singing "I touch Myself" out loud. Not just the chorus either. I do not know why this song popped into my head but once it did I could not help myself. I am pretty sure that it was not because I saw something that invoked those kind of feelings in me. There are not very many times that I see a female in walmart that makes me want to do interpretive dance to the pretenders. I mean come on some of these girls show up at walmart in there pajamas, and not sexy pajamas. Apparently that is a new outfit though because there was a girl at church the other day who obviously had to go or had been to walmart and just came on to church in the same outfit. And let me tell you when your friends that you go to church with say their church is real casual you should take that to mean pajamas are ok. I wore a suit and tie. A very nice suit. And I was the only one there in a suit and or tie for that matter. Let me tell you between pajama girl and me in a suit I looked like the bigger A-hole. I used to think that you could not over dress for an occasion but I have since changed my outlook on that. But I digress. And to clear this up, I was not in the pie section when I started singing either. That would have been a good guess though.
So I got my clamps and poster board and Elvis cd and Elton John cd. You see what I mean? No heat lamp and that was because they were out but I did not go in looking for cds. At this point you are probably thinking ok he is about to get out of there without anything else to tell. And I was close until...as I am checking out the cashier looks at the Elton cd and says "Isn't he a knight or something?" Wow that is so random of a question I thought. I told her I was pretty sure he had been knighted by the Queen, which by the way was another cd I had in hand but told myself enough was enough for this trip. I would probably be back tomorrow anyway. She then proceeds to ask me what that entails, being a knight. Now I don't really know but I can make some stuff up. So I told her I think it means he gets to carry a sword. And if there ever is a dragon problem he gets a call. I think she bought it. Couple Tiny Dancers Rocket Man abilities along with his knight sword and you've got yourself a dragon slayer much scarier then a shark riding on an elephants back. That last part was not my own idea. It was actually a Deep Thought by Jack Handey. After that I got out of the store. And have since been listening to the Elton John cd which makes me a little uncomfortable because its one thing to sing in the shower but a completely different thing to also dance along.
Anyway, I have to get ready to go to work now. I realize this may come as a shock to some. Especially since just two days ago I said I was unemployed. I will get into that later if you need me to but right now I need to go get ready.
peace out
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
I'm obese!?
Good Morning Everybody!
I know it is early for someone who doesn't have a job but I just cant seem to sleep past seven o'clock. I try to believe you me. Ok, there is something that I forgot to mention yesterday and that is I am publicly going to post my weight in this blog. I am doing this so that maybe the utter humiliation of how much I weigh being public knowledge will help me lose weight. So here we go.
This morning I was 194.8 with a body fat percentage of 26.0. I have this scale that checks this stuff. I used to think that the body fat thing was a crock but I read in Men's Health that they do work. Apparently it sends electrical impulses through the soles of your feet and based on how fast it comes back that is how much body fat you have. Sonar technology if you will. Well my fluctuations in weight have always been an issue with me. The most I ever weighed was 218. I am only 5'6" by the way. At that time I was as wide as I was tall. which reminds me of a funny story but I will get into that a little later. So bodyfat. The other day I checked it and it said 29%. Now I don't remember exactly and I could google it but I think that would be something fun for all of you to research on your own, see I want you to learn things too while reading this. Like that that was probably the worst run on sentence ever. Ok what I can't remember is the actual percentage of the human body that is water. Isn't it something like 85% or something? well you do the math there and sounds like I am 110% of a person. Which makes sense because I am fat. I did some research because I thought that 29% bodyfat was extreme. And I was right. at 25% and over you are considered obese as a man. So I've got that going for me.
You want to know what reminded me to do this post in the first place? Last night as I was watching tv and got the munchies I found myself eating a pecan log. At 10 pm and you know what "they " say, don't eat after 8. Speaking of "they" I will probably refer to they from time to time here. I do not know who they are but they seem to know it all. I tend not to agree with that they say unless ofcourse it helps me prove a point and then they are the authorities on the matter. But for now lets just agree to dislike they. They know who they are. So here I am eating the pecan log, drinking a diet coke, feet up in the recliner watching tv wondering why I am fat. I am flanked on both sides by Runner's World, Bicycling, and Triathlete magazines. Apparently my training by osmosis theory is not working but come on it's only the third week in the new year and I didn't make any "lose weight" resolutions so get off my back. And when you do could you go get me something to eat, please?
I like food. Its one of my biggest vices. Especially sweets like cakes pies pastries. Not Candy. If I could marry Mrs. Smith I would but obviously she is married hence the mrs. That is one lucky fellow. Oh can you imagine all of the cakes and pies at that house? If there is a heaven that would be it.Like a friend of mine once said, "I only like two kinds of pie. Hot and cold." Amen! I've eaten an entire deep dish apple pie in 36 hours alone. They really don't stand a chance in my house.
And its not only sweets. I watch tv commercials about food like kids watch toy commercials. Example. The other day I am watching the NFL playoffs and McDonalds shows an ad for the new Mcsnack Wrap. Basically the ingredients for a big mack in a tortilla. Well I want one. I actually text messaged a friend to say "I want one of those." Oh and I got one within two days. And let me tell you, it was delicious. I little small but delicious. Oh and let me go through the drive thru and them give away a hot apple pie with your purchase. There is a little dance that goes on when I make that discovery. And then usually the rest of my day is just bliss.
So it's out there now. I am going to keep everyone updated on my trip to get fitter. Its gonna be a rocky road. See that is a pun. I don't know if I am going to do it daily because my weight fluctuates too much day to day. Hell, the other day I gained four pounds just from the time I woke up and came back from church. The trip to IHOP didn't help but I don't think I ate four pounds of country fried steak with gravy, scrambled eggs with cheese, hash browns, and three pancakes. ok maybe I did. Damn it I can put away some food.
I know it is early for someone who doesn't have a job but I just cant seem to sleep past seven o'clock. I try to believe you me. Ok, there is something that I forgot to mention yesterday and that is I am publicly going to post my weight in this blog. I am doing this so that maybe the utter humiliation of how much I weigh being public knowledge will help me lose weight. So here we go.
This morning I was 194.8 with a body fat percentage of 26.0. I have this scale that checks this stuff. I used to think that the body fat thing was a crock but I read in Men's Health that they do work. Apparently it sends electrical impulses through the soles of your feet and based on how fast it comes back that is how much body fat you have. Sonar technology if you will. Well my fluctuations in weight have always been an issue with me. The most I ever weighed was 218. I am only 5'6" by the way. At that time I was as wide as I was tall. which reminds me of a funny story but I will get into that a little later. So bodyfat. The other day I checked it and it said 29%. Now I don't remember exactly and I could google it but I think that would be something fun for all of you to research on your own, see I want you to learn things too while reading this. Like that that was probably the worst run on sentence ever. Ok what I can't remember is the actual percentage of the human body that is water. Isn't it something like 85% or something? well you do the math there and sounds like I am 110% of a person. Which makes sense because I am fat. I did some research because I thought that 29% bodyfat was extreme. And I was right. at 25% and over you are considered obese as a man. So I've got that going for me.
You want to know what reminded me to do this post in the first place? Last night as I was watching tv and got the munchies I found myself eating a pecan log. At 10 pm and you know what "they " say, don't eat after 8. Speaking of "they" I will probably refer to they from time to time here. I do not know who they are but they seem to know it all. I tend not to agree with that they say unless ofcourse it helps me prove a point and then they are the authorities on the matter. But for now lets just agree to dislike they. They know who they are. So here I am eating the pecan log, drinking a diet coke, feet up in the recliner watching tv wondering why I am fat. I am flanked on both sides by Runner's World, Bicycling, and Triathlete magazines. Apparently my training by osmosis theory is not working but come on it's only the third week in the new year and I didn't make any "lose weight" resolutions so get off my back. And when you do could you go get me something to eat, please?
I like food. Its one of my biggest vices. Especially sweets like cakes pies pastries. Not Candy. If I could marry Mrs. Smith I would but obviously she is married hence the mrs. That is one lucky fellow. Oh can you imagine all of the cakes and pies at that house? If there is a heaven that would be it.Like a friend of mine once said, "I only like two kinds of pie. Hot and cold." Amen! I've eaten an entire deep dish apple pie in 36 hours alone. They really don't stand a chance in my house.
And its not only sweets. I watch tv commercials about food like kids watch toy commercials. Example. The other day I am watching the NFL playoffs and McDonalds shows an ad for the new Mcsnack Wrap. Basically the ingredients for a big mack in a tortilla. Well I want one. I actually text messaged a friend to say "I want one of those." Oh and I got one within two days. And let me tell you, it was delicious. I little small but delicious. Oh and let me go through the drive thru and them give away a hot apple pie with your purchase. There is a little dance that goes on when I make that discovery. And then usually the rest of my day is just bliss.
So it's out there now. I am going to keep everyone updated on my trip to get fitter. Its gonna be a rocky road. See that is a pun. I don't know if I am going to do it daily because my weight fluctuates too much day to day. Hell, the other day I gained four pounds just from the time I woke up and came back from church. The trip to IHOP didn't help but I don't think I ate four pounds of country fried steak with gravy, scrambled eggs with cheese, hash browns, and three pancakes. ok maybe I did. Damn it I can put away some food.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Pantera? Really...
So I may as well go ahead and get a post about her in here. The other day I was driving in my car with B (my daughter). Well we were talking and Pantera's Walk was on the radio. Now it wasn't turned up loud just some background music if anything when B stops and says, "That's that song we listened to at our house the other day." By the other day she means a month or so ago. I like a lot of different music, mainly hard rock but I do listen to just about country. I just can not get into it and that's hard when you live in the south. I am pretty sure that all B hears when she is with her mother. Well that and bluegrass which I can tolerate much better than the country.
Anyway, so she recognizes the Pantera song, and before you all get all "oh my gosh! you let her listen to Pantera?! don't they use terrible language?" 1.At this point it was not turned up loud and 2. she has heard much worse and not from me. I 'm not accusing anyone here I just know from fact that she has. Well at this point we are not talking anymore and she is really quiet until the song gets to the chorus and she starts to sing along. And then asks if I can turn it up more so she can here it. Let me tell you there is nothing more awesome than hearing your three year old daughter singing "Re! Spect! Walk! Are you talking to me?!"
Now I know you probably think well that is cute and thats the end but no. Now she starts asking me about who is that boy singing whats his name. What about the boy playing that tar (thats how she says guitar. Its cute.)So not only does she sing along, but she wants to know about the band. This was a proud day for me. It made me smile.
The Pantera thing was great but her favorite music right now has to be the late great Michael Jackson. After he passed I went on a cd buying spree ad she had to endure my mourning and through that she bacame very fond of "Don't stop til you get enough." Here is proof if you doubt me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zym_1CUqBpY
ok that's all for now
peace out
Anyway, so she recognizes the Pantera song, and before you all get all "oh my gosh! you let her listen to Pantera?! don't they use terrible language?" 1.At this point it was not turned up loud and 2. she has heard much worse and not from me. I 'm not accusing anyone here I just know from fact that she has. Well at this point we are not talking anymore and she is really quiet until the song gets to the chorus and she starts to sing along. And then asks if I can turn it up more so she can here it. Let me tell you there is nothing more awesome than hearing your three year old daughter singing "Re! Spect! Walk! Are you talking to me?!"
Now I know you probably think well that is cute and thats the end but no. Now she starts asking me about who is that boy singing whats his name. What about the boy playing that tar (thats how she says guitar. Its cute.)So not only does she sing along, but she wants to know about the band. This was a proud day for me. It made me smile.
The Pantera thing was great but her favorite music right now has to be the late great Michael Jackson. After he passed I went on a cd buying spree ad she had to endure my mourning and through that she bacame very fond of "Don't stop til you get enough." Here is proof if you doubt me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zym_1CUqBpY
ok that's all for now
peace out
...And in the Begining He created his Blog...
If that title comes across as a little sacrilegious it was supposed to. I do not have the energy tonight to get into religion. That time is reserved for Pastor Mike currently on Sunday Mornings and the Jehovah's Witnesses that come by on Sunday afternoons, but like I said I don't want to get into that right now. Good evening...but I digress.
Ok, so a little about me which is what I think that profile section is all about but I can count of any of you to actually go click on that to find out what I am all about. That's what this first post is all about. Technically its the fourth post but if we are gonna get all hung up on technicalities this is going to be a very long, uncomfortable journey. And once you get on board you are in it for the long haul. I do not give up on anything and I'm not gonna give up on any of you my readers. I expect the same sort of commitment from each and everyone of you. I will be here for you. The question is will you be here for me? Well, will you?
So paragraph two up there didn't really tell you anything about me. I am 33 years old. I live in Statesboro Georgia. I've lived here since I was in the fifth grade. I am a German citizen. Now that is going to come as a big surprise to a lot of folks that have known me for a long time. I do not know why it does but it seems like everyday someone else realizes that I am not a citizen. It's funny because you can see that look on their face when it hits them. I'd like to say its like a light bulb going off but its never that smart of a look. And right after that perplexed dumb look come the green card jokes. So lets all take a moment here to laugh at me having a green card. ha ha ha you can't even be president, ha ha ha. Not that I would vote for you. I actually had one of my best friends tell me that one night. So there is another tid bit about me. Some folks do not believe I am president material.
I have a three year old daughter. That would probably be what most defines me now and for the last three years. She is my world. There will most likely be many many entries here about the funny things she says or does. She is funnier than her old man which is not easy to be. Because I am one funny mofo. Or so I've been told. That's actually the reason behind this blog. People always seem to get a big kick and or laugh out of my stories. Now the only problem with that for me is I do not tell stories thinking they are funny. These are stories about my day to day life. If they were so funny you would think that I would just be laughing my ass off all day long. Hey but what r you gonna do (badazoomzoomzoom badaoomboom). If you need proof right now just refer back to that funny ass green card story. Do you see what I mean? I kid.
So it is January and I have been unemployed for something like ten months. I used to work for the family business doing curb and gutter work and concrete sidewalks. I was known as the curbman. Now I am just the "gonna find himself living in the gutter man." So I thought that what I would do was start this blog and document my journey to finding a new job and the funny things that may happen along the way. I hope to post at least one entry per day of the things that happen each day.
Anyway, I promise that moving forward these entries wont be so whatever this one is? Non-entertaining I guess. So lets all fasten our seat belts. Keep our hands and feet inside the car at all times. And most of all, lets try to have a good time.
peace out
greg
p.s. If anyone has a decent picture of me that I can use on my profile send it to me. I apparently don't have any of myself, which is really really weird because I've always been accused of being narcissistic and conceited. See how I conveniently left that out of the "let me tell you about me part." I've also just learned that I can not spell for crap.
p.p.s or p.s.s whichever it is . I haven't decided yet if I am going to change people's names to protect them or not. Just know this. If I write something about you I dont do it mean spirtedly. I do it for the comic aspect. Its for the greater good of all that read, not just to make fun of you. I mean I am making fun of you but its not just for my amusement but for everyone's. I, on the otherhand, will never make fun of myself here and I suggest you don't either. I am very sensitive. I have a story about my supposed sensitivity that I can not currently get into because ...it doesn't matter. I don't need that drama
Ok, so a little about me which is what I think that profile section is all about but I can count of any of you to actually go click on that to find out what I am all about. That's what this first post is all about. Technically its the fourth post but if we are gonna get all hung up on technicalities this is going to be a very long, uncomfortable journey. And once you get on board you are in it for the long haul. I do not give up on anything and I'm not gonna give up on any of you my readers. I expect the same sort of commitment from each and everyone of you. I will be here for you. The question is will you be here for me? Well, will you?
So paragraph two up there didn't really tell you anything about me. I am 33 years old. I live in Statesboro Georgia. I've lived here since I was in the fifth grade. I am a German citizen. Now that is going to come as a big surprise to a lot of folks that have known me for a long time. I do not know why it does but it seems like everyday someone else realizes that I am not a citizen. It's funny because you can see that look on their face when it hits them. I'd like to say its like a light bulb going off but its never that smart of a look. And right after that perplexed dumb look come the green card jokes. So lets all take a moment here to laugh at me having a green card. ha ha ha you can't even be president, ha ha ha. Not that I would vote for you. I actually had one of my best friends tell me that one night. So there is another tid bit about me. Some folks do not believe I am president material.
I have a three year old daughter. That would probably be what most defines me now and for the last three years. She is my world. There will most likely be many many entries here about the funny things she says or does. She is funnier than her old man which is not easy to be. Because I am one funny mofo. Or so I've been told. That's actually the reason behind this blog. People always seem to get a big kick and or laugh out of my stories. Now the only problem with that for me is I do not tell stories thinking they are funny. These are stories about my day to day life. If they were so funny you would think that I would just be laughing my ass off all day long. Hey but what r you gonna do (badazoomzoomzoom badaoomboom). If you need proof right now just refer back to that funny ass green card story. Do you see what I mean? I kid.
So it is January and I have been unemployed for something like ten months. I used to work for the family business doing curb and gutter work and concrete sidewalks. I was known as the curbman. Now I am just the "gonna find himself living in the gutter man." So I thought that what I would do was start this blog and document my journey to finding a new job and the funny things that may happen along the way. I hope to post at least one entry per day of the things that happen each day.
Anyway, I promise that moving forward these entries wont be so whatever this one is? Non-entertaining I guess. So lets all fasten our seat belts. Keep our hands and feet inside the car at all times. And most of all, lets try to have a good time.
peace out
greg
p.s. If anyone has a decent picture of me that I can use on my profile send it to me. I apparently don't have any of myself, which is really really weird because I've always been accused of being narcissistic and conceited. See how I conveniently left that out of the "let me tell you about me part." I've also just learned that I can not spell for crap.
p.p.s or p.s.s whichever it is . I haven't decided yet if I am going to change people's names to protect them or not. Just know this. If I write something about you I dont do it mean spirtedly. I do it for the comic aspect. Its for the greater good of all that read, not just to make fun of you. I mean I am making fun of you but its not just for my amusement but for everyone's. I, on the otherhand, will never make fun of myself here and I suggest you don't either. I am very sensitive. I have a story about my supposed sensitivity that I can not currently get into because ...it doesn't matter. I don't need that drama
Monday, January 11, 2010
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
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